Your mate pushes your buttons. It's inevitable. But it's not your mate who installed those buttons.
Whatever your buttons and frustrations with your husband/partner/girlfriend might be, they were installed by the events of your childhood and early adulthood.
I've always known this and so I approach my relationship with my husband from a place of always seeking to have awareness of where I'm coming from. I also know that there are tools out there that can always help us in our growth journey.